Tribute to my gran - the eulogy

Goie middag almal, good afternoon everyone

Ek wil graag begin deur om verskoning te vra. Ek gaan meestal vandag in Engels praat. Ouma did however, favour and celebrate the expression that was afforded to one in whichever language it was, over choosing one in particular. So I think she would be more than ok with that and I’m sure you’ll appreciate that even in death Ouma calls the shots!

Secondly, I also want to say that today is significant for reasons beyond the obvious. On this very day, 29 years ago, ouma corrie became a grandparent for the first time.Yes, Its my birthday and I think the relevance to our gathering today is made all the more meaningful through the absolute devotion and never ending love that ouma bestowed on her grandchildren. 

I am told that I did not have a very restful first couple of months as ouma corrie showed me off to all and sundry, no matter the day or hour. Each one of her grandchildren continued to bring joy and pride to ouma right up until the end of her all too brief time with us, and the energy that she poured into our young lives will never be forgotten.

In preparing for today I looked around for poems and pieces written by some of ouma’s favourites. She loved the classics and was a particular fan of Shakespeare. Her ability to make his works come alive to an audience was the stuff of legend. There she would be sitting, painting an absolutely riveting scene lifted from Macbeth, Julius Ceasar or King Lear for a group of students or anyone who actually cared to listen, and her love of the language and the way it was moulded in the hands of these literary giants ensured that no one walked away untouched or ignorant to the treasure that they were so expertly being exposed to.

Ouma read to and exposed all the grandchildren to the joy of reading from a very young age. I remember how her warm bed beckoned to us during the school holdays we spent as a family at Boggomsbaai or at the farm. As soon as the sun started peaking over the horizon we would be there, careful to avoid waking the grown-ups who invariably did not take as kindly to being woken up at the crack of dawn as ouma. A fair number of us would usually squeeze into the bed as oupa was shooed away to go and make coffee. Ouma perched her glasses on the tip of her nose and out would flow the most wonderful and captivating stories: The wind and the willows, Stories van Bergplaas, Anne of Green Gables and Emily of new moon for the girls, …..she would always be ready and waiting for us…and as we wolfed down ouma’s homemade rusks with the coffee or tea that oupa would dutifully appear with, I could not but help thinking that we were in some kind of child heaven: safe, deeply loved and cared for, and utterly enchanted.

So back to finding a poem for ouma. I found it hard to find a piece from a famous person that did ouma justice or that was able to even encapsulate a fraction of the person that she was to all of us. Come to think of it, I’m fairly sure that Shakespeare would have had to write a separate play had he ever had the privilege of meeting ouma corrie. So apart from a verse here and there I have actually chosen to talk about ouma based on the various mails and letters that have flooded my inbox from loved ones and family members, from near and far, from old and young, since the sad news of ouma’s passing broke on Saturday. These lines say so much more about ouma and portray the strength and “larger than life” presence that ouma had, whether you’d met her just once or even a thousand times.

Right then, here goes. This one if from across the sees and to the North.

“We will always remember her as a feisty, energetic woman, a gracious and welcoming hostess, and a lovely conversationalist. As the matriarch of your family, it was with great joy that she filled us in on family stories--the funny and, at times, the more serious. She had an amazing story to tell of her own childhood and teaching career. Her strength and generosity was always underplayed when she spoke about herself. Nothing filled her with more pride than a show of intellect and heart.”

Ouma welcomed the world to her home. With open arms. I think that just among the grandchildren we can all attest to the fact that our respective and sporadic love interests, after being introduced to ouma and the family, all left a little more a Johnson than when they walked in. To use a line that Oom Bux Lyle loved to throw out: “Ouma’s home and therefore this family, was like a taxi: always room for one more”. Young or old, you knew you had happened upon something special once ouma corrie had crossed your path.

Ouma brimmed with pride at her flock. Always. Even in the last couple of months ouma would proudly parade us grandchildren in front of the bewildered nurses of the ICU at the Little Company of Mary. Wagging her finger profusely, it would go something like this: “Suster, do you know that this one is a famous artist?”, “Suster, this is my eldest grand child!”, “Suster, this one is studying politics in Capetown!”. We would have to sheepishly nod in acknowledgment even though the praise often did seem just a tad exaggerated.

Here’s another quote also from the US:

“She was an unbelievably unique woman and I feel incredibly lucky to have had the few moments that I did with her.  She embodied a certain kind of strength and her quality and character are evident in the amazing family that she built.“

To ouma family mattered more than anything else. Ouma’s belief in each one of us was unwavering. A couple of days ago the grandchildren came together and most of them confessed to ouma’s influence in their overcoming of some of the biggest challenges they had faced up to now. It doesn’t matter where you were or what you had done, news would filter through to you…… “Ouma bid vir jou”, and whether it was for a day, a week, or months, you could be sure that your inclusion in Ouma’s prayers was going to get you through this even if you yourself did not believe it at the time.

And ouma’s wanting to help and assist every family member extended way beyond just prayer. I can remember, when I was but a young-un, half-drowning as ouma dunked me like a soggy rusk into the waves at boggoms, imploring me to snort vast quantities of sea water in an effort to clear up my perpetually clogged sinuses. And who will ever forget how eric junior was bitten on the chest by a scorpion at the beach house?! There he was, bellowing furiously with the entire family gathered around, frozen in horror and unable to even contemplate the next move. Not ouma. She burst through the throng and, armed with her old ally, koeksoda (baking soda), belted Eric on the chest with the miracle kitchen ingredient. He stopped howling and it seemed to do the trick instantly, although Eric’s look of utter shock and bewilderment at this “alternative” therapy could have had something to do with his reaction too. There were countless others: "suurveigies" (wild figs) for blue bottle stings, chamberlains (my absolute worst), snuff…although her favorite seemed to be the sea water. That could cure more things than I am even at liberty to mention here today.

My dad also tells me that when they were growing up Ouma swore by her “holiday recipe” for the kids. So before the car was packed and the holiday begun each child had a haircut, a table spoon of Kaster Olie (castor oil)and a pakslae (hiding)…not necessarily in that order. Having said that, I’m sure all the children will attest to the wonderful family vacations that were enjoyed by the Johnson’s.


Here’s a quote from one of the grandchildren:

“So as we come together today to celebrate a life of love, it is not with an absence that we come away. Instead, we go away with abundance. As we all sit here, ouma sits next to each of us, holding our hand, guiding us in what it is to love and be connected”

Ouma’s capacity to forgive also knew no limits. Hell, I think ouma even forgave Hansie! Nevertheless, I want to say to the family and all of you out there, that where you might have been able to evade it in the past, Ouma’s roving eye is now on you permanently. Skelm rook (smoking on the sly). Te veel drink (drinking too much). Quality streets en koekies steel (stealing chocolates and cookies at the beach house), whatever! Ouma gaan weet! (ouma will know) And to tell you the truth I think she always knew anyway. But, as much as you should “waak teen” (guard against) everything from drinking to gambling, remember that ouma could see the good in everyone. It might be one of the most important lessons that I was able to take from her. Believing in our connectedness and the common good.

This brings me to how soft Ouma was. Ouma’s capacity for loving each one of us seemingly without limits is truly exceptional. When the family is together, as we are most times during the December holidays, it is always ouma who remembers the loved ones who are not with us. A tear would inevitably appear as she always made sure that everyone focused on this person’s place in the collective and that they were always kept in our thoughts and hearts. I never want to lose that: the neverending capacity to love with your whole being.

Ouma was completely unwavering in her wanting to strike up a conversation or a connection with complete strangers. Who could forget “die gees van die wildtuin”? (the spirit of the game reserve) As a family the grandchildren were often treated to trips to the game reserve where oupa had timeshare. Countless times the grandchildren were to witness ouma furiously trying to persuade oupa to stop the car to ask stationary cars next to the road what they had seen. She was irrepressible and, when oupa finally relented and grudgingly came to a halt next to a small family’s stationary car on some obscure gravel road in the middle of nowhere, few were to have imagined what was about to greet the Johnson Family. The back passenger door of the car was flung open and out lurched a small child, grimly being encouraged by his mom to “get it all out” as he proceeded to vomit profusely on the side of the road. Ouma who had at that stage already leaned out of her window in anticipation of a wonderful wildlife update, had to silently roll the window back up as oupa slowly pulled away with a huge smirk on his face. Us kids knew to keep quiet and the “gees” was shelved for the time being.

This next quote is what the upcoming movie Invictus is based on. Invictus means unconquerable. I’m not sure how many of you know about this movie but it tells the story of Nelson Mandela (played by Morgan Freeman) and the 95 world cup winning team. Francois Pienaar is played by none other than Matt Damon. Bid jou dit aan! (imagine that!) This story has ouma written all over it, due to the fact that it shows belief, connectedness and the triumph of the human spirit……and it’s about rugby and the springboks!


I’m sure all of you know that Ouma was a huge blue bulls fan. If you didn’t, you only had to be around on a wintry Saturday afternoon at the Johnson residence to witness the phenomenon that is ouma and oupa watching the rugby. What you would see could rival any kind of entertainment dished up from the other side of the TV screen….Oupa cursing furiously under his breath (I don’t think oupa swears in any other context) and ouma trying to calm him on the one hand whilst also venting her fury at any kind of negative commentary, especially from Hugh Bladen. Ouma did not much fancy Hugh Bladen. In fact, any kind of whining criticism was not tolerated, especially if the fat lady had not yet sung her last note. Ouma and oupa even lived a block away from Loftus for many years, and thinking about it now, I’m sure that was completely by design.


So the movie comes from a poem by the same name and was written by William Ernest Henley in 1875. I’m only going to read two short verses.


“OUT of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.”

Ouma loved nothing more than a story that demonstrated virtue prevailing against the odds and she was as much a warrior and a fighter for South Africa as she was for her family. The story of this country captivated her and she believed that we are all a fairly special bunch. I think she must have been working with that guy who wrote “South Africa: the good news” because she never shied away from showing you that your negativity was just a problem of perception. She gave freely, and fiercely fought for the future of this country. Not many things got under ouma’s skin as much as a bitter pessimist. Ouma believed in a shared vision that included all South Africans.

Her philanthropic nature meant that she read for the blind, sponsored and started the Magogos Juventus Football Club on the farm, and always gave to those who had less, the needy, the less privileged, those without the kind of opportunities that this family has been blessed with. She showed this everyday. I will never forget that, as a youngster of maybe 6 or 7, Ouma would whisk me away to the voel park (Austin Roberts) as often as seemed humanly possible. Whilst she was obviously trying to instill her love for bird-watching in the next generation (I later found out that she did this to a number of the other grand kids too), she also used these moments to impart valuable life lessons. I distinctly remember her telling me how giving was just so much better than receiving, and that she made it sound so nice that I very nearly considered giving my birthday presents away that year! Nearly. But what ouma showed me then was more about giving without counting the cost. How it would always come back to you in far larger quantities and how that was what life was about: What you could share and give above anything else.

Which brings me to my next quote

Its also from one of the grandchildren.

“..and so my ouma would sit at the helm of her ship and she would steer us through our lives emparting wisdom from youngest to oldest, always woven with a thread of love”

Lets make no bones about this. Ouma was the most naturally-born teacher I have ever come across. Ouma imparted lessons like no-one else. Quite apart from her distinguished careers at Meisies hoer and Pretoria Boys High, she literally lived her work. What made it even more powerful was that ouma was always blessed with some strange and unfathomable sixth sense that none of us could quite escape. She just seemed to know about things so much earlier than anyone else, intuitively too, and her advice was often times only understood some months after it was given. Ouma used to say “sy sien goeters want sy is met die helm gebore” (she sees things because she was born with this blessing) You didn’t have to understand where it came from though, just as long as you believed. I don’t think many of us had a problem with that. Ouma was persuasive, to say the least.

A quote from one of my best friends:

“Last night, we reminisced on our one meeting with your grandparents: when we went to watch a game of rugby while with you on a weekend trip to the farm. I remember thinking what a great pair they made, she, so full of personality and character, and he, stoic and unflappable much like your father Raiford. Looking at them, I remember wondering whether I might be one day blessed enough to have that type of a life partner.”

Last week Saturday my aunt Jenny, teary and heartbroken, spoke of the “love affair of the century” and I can honestly admit to not having seen a real life example or a hollywood romance that can even come close to the soul mate partnership and connection of my grandparents. Their love for each other and their family simply flowed through us, over us, between us, enveloped us. As my dad and I sat together on Saturday afternoon and tried to process the loss, he told me how her most telling traits were there until the end, and how else could it have been? There she was fighting for all she was worth while at the same time straining to ensure that oupa was ok. A week or so earlier, you’d think that taking ouma out for her first trip outside the ICU for about two months, and into the gardens with the spring blossoms, would result in her taking the time to absorb it all for herself. Not a chance. At the first opporunity ouma made sure that oupa at least had a sakdoek (handkerchief) on his head to ensure that his virtually hairless and otherwise shiny cranium didn’t get burnt in the blazing midday sun.

The image that will surely live on with each one of the family members forever is that of Ouma and Oupa’s chairs always side by side. Whether we were at the farm, at the sea, or at someone’s house, there they were: side by side forever. There’s the little bench at the sea where ouma and oupa used to sit, surveying their handy work as the family went about its business, blissfully unaware of two sets of loving eyes that were completely relishing their every moment of joy.

And so, in ending this tribute, what of us? Those left behind and grieving the loss? This next verse is for the family and its by Kahlil Gibran. I think ouma would have wanted us to remember this in her absence.

Its called happiness and sorrow.

“Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?
And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.“

Ouma Corrie was bigger than anything I could ever have dreamed up. How can one even begin to imagine a character of her magnitude? I am deeply honored to have been able to say a couple of words about Ouma on this special day, but I am no more honored than every single one of you who had the privilege of meeting this famous soul.


She departed with a clear mind and a sparkling spirit, but like any legend, Ouma left nothing in the field of play. She gave it everything. Always.


This is why I think that Ouma Corrie and her life are to be celebrated. We cry today and we are heartbroken, but it is from the incredible joy that ouma brought to each one of our lives. She was the glue that made us inseparable as a family.


We think especially of Oupa today. He has lost more than any of us…but he has also had a lot more than any us: a lifetime with a person that could have filled ten life times. Waking up next to someone who’s dreams and values knew no limits. Years of watching this family bloom and grow into what it is today.

Ouma has left this family without its heart, but her spirit and soul have bound us together forever, filled us for all eternity and inspired us to be something beyond our wildest dreams.

For that we can only say thank you. Thank you Ouma. We love you!